Ways to ruin a play
by ArcadiaRanger
Summary: Tonks, Remus, Snape and Gildroy are entered in a play contest. What is the play? Romeo and Juliet! Since the three boys are fighting to be Romeo, who will it end up being? Please R&R!
1. Wherefore art thou Romeo?

Ways to ruin a play

Disclaimer- I don't own Harry potter or Romeo and Juliet

Author's note- Here's my third story! I'm having some trouble with 'Misty business' But I will update it! Anyways R&R, and I hope you like this.

Chapter one wherefore art thou Romeo?

An angry Tonks glared at the St. Mungo's nurse.

"Beacuse I hate being in plays, okay?" She snarled

"Please?" Said the nurse pleadingly "You'd be perfect for the lead if you enter!"

Tonks pushed a few of the beds back into their original positions by the window. "You'd make a perfect Juliet!" said the nurse, not wanting to give up.

"The answer is NO!" Said Tonks stubbornly. She marched towards a small group of men playing with a deck of cards. "Hey Lupin?" Slapping him hard on the back. "Arn't you suppose to be helping?"

Lupin gave a pleading look to the small group as he was dragged away from the game. Tonks could tell that the nurse wasn't going to give up on her. Al she wanted to do was get her voulinteer work done in peace.

"The contest is in two days, you still have time to enter!" said the nurse

"What contest?" Lupin asked stupidly

Tonks ignored the question and gave another glare at the nurse. "Imagine me up on stage, what happens if I mess up?" Tonks said jumping up on a table. "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

"It is the east and Juliet is the sun." Said a voice behind her. Tonks turned to see Snape was behind her.

"I don't need any coaching from you Snape." Said Tonks, pushing him away. Tonks jumped off of the table and looked menicingly at the nurse. "I'll sign up, for you."

The nurse looked like she was going to give Tonks a big hug. "All you need now is a Romeo."

"I will be a Romeo to this Juliet." Snape announced

"And who cast you, Hmm?" Asked the nurse

"I did." Snape said bluntly

"I'd like to join." Said a voice suddenly "As Romeo for Juliet."

Tonks couldn't believe what she saw next. "Don't tell me." Tonks said, feeling like she was going to faint. "You'd like to join too, Gildroy."

"Yes I would." Said Gilderoy, his arms crossed and leaning on a wall. Tonks couldn't believe what she was hearing. Both Snape _and_ Gildroy wanted to be Romeo.

"Lucky you, o popular one." Said Remus (Tonks nearly forgot about him) "I know you'll be great, no matter who the Romeo ends up to be."

Tonks stared down at the people below her.She was currently practicing for the balcony scene of the play for the contest. With the contest a day away Tonks and a few of the nurses that voulintarily came to help, decided to try and get some practise time in.

"Everbody in place?" Amy haopkins, the nurse who got Tonks into the play asked. Tonks smiled and nodded. Amy, though, glared at Gildroy and Snape.

"This is going to be a complete disaster." Amy muttered "Tonks is never going to win the grand prize."

"And what grand prize is that?" Remus asked, making Amy jump.

"500 galleons and a trip to anywhere you want." Amy answered.

"Really?" Said Remus "I'd think I'd like to join too."

"So that only means." Snape thought, glaring at Remus"He wants to take my part as Romeo!"


	2. Which Romeo's which?

Disclaimer- I don't own anything of the Harry Potter world. J.K Rowling owns it.

Chapter two Which Romeo's which?

Remus, Snape and Gildroy looked at each other with daring glares. Tonks knew that this would end up in disaster. She only wanted this to end up okay and have an actual chance at winning at the contest.

"Okay, you have yourself a deal." Remus said "The last person standing on this stage wins."

"Remus, you idiot!" Tonks cried, hopping down from the balcony and slapping Remus "This is a play! Not a massicre!"

A slight silence fell on everyone.

"Now this play will be a disaster!" Wailed Tonks storming off.

Remus gave a big sigh as they heared a big slam of the door.

"I guess I should go apologise to her." He thought, slowly walking out of the hospital.

Once on the sidewalk he glances around, then evaporated to one of the places he knew he would like be be right at the moment. Number twelve Grimmauld place. He walked in the kitchen to see Molly, Arthur, Bill and Fluer looking very confused.

"What happened?" Asked Bill as Lupin came into the kitchen

"Tonks... she looks 'eart broken." Fluer said

Lupin gave a long sigh as he told them what happened at the hospital.

* * *

Remus walked down one of London's sidewalks, avoiding the sideways glances of people who passed by him. He knew how important this play was to Tonks. He just had to find some way to apologise to her.

* * *

"Remus!" Called Tonks "Where are you?" 

Tonks was feeling a little impatient that Remus wasn't there yet. She wanted to apologise to him of her behaviour yesterday. The least HE could do was show up.

"So. Remus isn't here." Snape said "Then... that could only mean..."

Suddenly taking Tonks' hand he said "Juliet my love!"

"I don't think so freak!" Roared Remus suddebly flying in and kicking Remus in the face.

"Remus? I'm so glad you're going to play Romeo! I'd knew you'd play him!"

Remus snapped his head around to see and oddly shaped girl who was holding what looked like a handmade costume. "I made this costume all by myself!" Shoving the costume in Remus's hands and running down the hall. "I'll know you'll make a great Romeo!"

Remus stared at the costume in his hands, then at the door. A few minutes roll by before Remus quickly chased after the girl.

"Sorry, I'm not taking any presents from any girls right now." He said, shoving the costume into the girl's hands and went waltzing down the hall when he ran into Tonks.

"Hey Remus." Tonks started, following Remus. "You ready for the play?"

"Yes I am." Remus replied slowing to a stop. "And all I want you to do is... to become Juliet, Got that?"

"Lupin..." Said Tonks "Do you know what Romeo and Juliet are to each other?"

"Father and Daughter... right?" Remus asked which was followed by a long and awkward silence.

"Remus, before the curtain opens." Tonks started, then her voice went into a snarl "Learn the story first!"

* * *

"And now the final entry in the competition!" Said the announcer "St. Mungo's hospital presents: Romeo and Juliet!" 

The croud roared (and cheered) as the curtains opened for the play to start. Tonks was standing on top of a balcony in a flowing pink dress.

"O Romeo, Romeo," Started Tonks "Wherefore art thou Romeo?"

Tonks was pretty pleased that the play was going well so far. But she did have a feeling that this peace wasn't going to last too long.

"Juliet fell in love with Romeo at first sight." Amy Hopkins announced "But their families were bitter enemies."

As Amy was telling her part, Gildroy and Snape were silently punching each other. Amy's patience with them was running pretty thin.

"Juliet!" Gildroy yelled, running towards the balcony

"Oh no! Not Gildroy!" Tonks screamed in her head.

"No! I'm Romeo." Snarled Snape, kicking Gildroy in the stomac.

"No, _I'm _Romeo!" Called out Remus, kicking Snape in the back.

As the three of them started a huge brawl in the middle of the stage, Tonks stared in complete disbelief.Eventually Remus managed to sneak out of the fight and climbed up of the baclony.

"Juliet." Remus said happily

"Oh, Romeo." Said Tonks

The spotlight fell on the both of them as a long dramatic pause fell on the entire audience.

"Arn't they suppose to talk?' Whispured one person

"This is the dramatic pause you dolt!"

"I can feel the love between the two of them!"

"Oh, Romeo," Tonks whispured dangerously "Did you learn your lines?"

Remus gave a goofy grin as he shook hisd head no. Tonks gave a very angry scowl and nearly pushed Remus off of the balcony.

"Hold he in your hands you fool!" Whispured an angry voice behind Remus.

'Arthur?" Tonks whispured looking behind Remus.

"I've had a feeling that you were going to need me tonight!" Whispured Arthur "So, hold her in your hands and say what I say."

Lupin hesitated at first, but eventually took Tonks' hands.

"O, Juliet."

"Ro...meo?"

"I pledge my troth to marry thee..."

"Yes?"

"To love and care for thee forever."

Afew seconds went by. No one spoke.

"And now for the big kissing scene!" Arthur whispured happily, shoving Remus into Tonks.

"YEAH! Go for it!"Screamed various people from the crowd.

"Show us your stuff."

"It's only pretend!" Yelled Tonks

Suddenly a rustle came from the bushes and then, Bill Weasly came hopping out.

"Live on stage! Romeo and Juliet!" He shouted when he his the stage. "See em kiss before your eyes!"

"Stop that!" Hessed Remus

"Time for the big kissing scene!" Arthur said, ignoring Lupin and shoving him and Tonks together.

"That's enough!" Snarled Remus, pushing Arthur away from him. "Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to make me kiss Tonks!"

"I'm not exactly begging to kiss you either!" Snarled Tonks, who was trying to hit Remus with a fake tre limb, which she ripped off of the balcony.

"But your friends want you to!" Cried Bill

"Must you two fight like this?" Asked Arthur, who was sad and mad at the same time. A few boos echoed through the audience.

"What a tradgety!" Wailed Amy Hopkins.

Author's note- This chapter is probably the longest chapter I have ever written. Ever. The other chapters may not be as long...


	3. Not your typical Juliet

Disclaimer- I don't own the Harry potter world.

Author's note- Tried uploading this chapter, but it got deleted. So, this is the second time trying to upload it.

Chapter three Not your typical Juliet.

"I won't kiss her, I won't." Announced Remus stubbornly over boos.

Bill and Arthur were shaking their heads in disbelief and Tonks was still on the balcony, looking pretty angry.

"You're no Romeo." Said Lockhart "So hit the showers."

"Morons." Remus muttered

"So, you don't mind if Snape kisses me?" Asked Tonks "Or even Lockhart?"

Remus gave this a great deal of thought, and then got a devious plan. He ran towards the costume chest, threw it open and started digging for a dress that exactly looked like Tonks' dress.

"I'll give them a love scene that they'll never forget." He said

"Tonks!" Molly called out "You were really exited about this role! Don't give up on that now!"

"She's right." Tonks thought "I'm playing Juliet, no matter who Romeo is!"

"Come to me, Juliet!" Said Snape, jumping out of the balcony.

"No! I can't do it!" Tonks cried, pushing Snape off of the balcony.

Suddenly Tonks stumbled and fell down. A few minutes later, she reappeared, only to have a tarp fall on her.

"Now it's time for the wedding scene!" Said an-all-too-happy Lockhart, skipping off.

"Poor Juliet now has been captured by an evil beast." Said Amy

"Who are you calling a beast?" Snarled Lockhart

A sudden tug at his sleeve interrupted Lockhart; he looked down to see a different looking Juliet.

"O Romeo!" Said Remus in a high voice, then his voice got fiercer "Let's drink a little wedding toast."

Seizing a bottle of wine, Remus started pouring it down Lockhart's throat.

"What's going on?" Asked one person from the crowd "This Juliet sounds different."

Remus then grabbed a drunken Gilderoy; half carried him towards a trunk and shoved him in it. After locking it he said "One down… one to go…"

"My one and only Juliet." Snape said, grabbing Remus into a hug.

"Wherefore **Art** thou Romeo?" Remus Snarled, throwing Snape off of him and kicking him in the stomach.

"Right here…. Dear Juliet!" Snape said painfully, grabbing an extra bottle of wine and forcefully making Remus drink it.

Remus gave a sudden hic as he stood up, wobbling once in a while.

"Now, into my arms dear Juliet." Said Snape

"Ooooo kay, you ashked fer it Reomeo." Slurred Romeo

Remus stumbled around a little bit more and fell down. A loud snore suddenly erupted from Remus as Snape knelt down to his side.

"Ah Juliet, why art thou so fair?" Snape asked leaning for a kiss. Suddenly he felt a sword touch his cheek. Snape looked up to see the real Tonks standing beside him.

"It is the east and Juliet is the sun!" Snape said happily

"I think you got the wrong Juliet." Tonks said "I don't think that was a fair fight earlier. So now, you can try a fair fight against me."

"All right, on guard!" Said Snape jumping up with a sword drawn.

As Tonks and Snape were fighting each other, Arthur and Bill slowly dragged off of the stage.

"Wake up fool." Arthur said as Bill dumped water on Lupin's head.

"To challenge me with the sword is to surrender before you even begin!" Snape said triumphantly as he knocked Tonks's sword away. "Now for the love scene."

"Romeo you two timer!" Snarled Remus marching over to Snape.

"No fair Remus, I'm Juliet!" Tonks wailed

"You, wanna have a love scene, with Snape?" Remus asked

"I didn't say that!" Tonks said, as Remus waltzed over to a confused Snape.

"Stay out of this." Said Remus hastily, grabbing Snape's shirt "I'm getting that prize, no matter what!"

Pulling Snape closer, Remus inched closer and closer, as if in slow motion, kissing Snape!

Author's note- Wow, this is the weirdest chapter I have ever written. I think I make my chapters a little too diolouge-ish. If you agree with me, then you can write it in a review if you want to.


	4. A kiss to the victor

Author's note- Yay! Chapter four is finally up! I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer- I do not own the Harry potter universe, or Romeo and Juliet. Both stories are owned by J.K Rowling and Shakespeare.

Chapter four A kiss to the victor

"They did it, they really did it!" Arthur muttered in shock

"Even with this tape, it's disgusting" Muttered Remus as he dragged Snape off stage. "Oh well, two down."

"Enough with the understudies." He said as he changed into his shirt, then running on stage. "On with the show!"

"You…. Really hate me, don't you?" Tonks said "You'll kiss Snape, but not me?"

Storming off stage Tonks screeched "I QUIT!"

"What's wrong with you? Why are you so mad?" Remus asked, jumping off stage after her.

"NO!" Amy wailed "Not with one scene left!"

"After all I did, you're going to leave me hanging?" Wailed Lupin

"You know you loved it." Tonks said as they stormed on stage.

"Well, why did you think I stuck tape over his mouth?" Remus asked

"So you claim." Tonks snarled

"Hey, they're back." Said a guy from the crowd

"How dare you yell at her." Said Snape suddenly jumping up from the sidelines

Remus, Tonks and everyone else stared at Snape, when Remus noticed a small piece of tape on Snape's check.

"What's this?" Remus asked, grabbing it.

"A souvenir…. Of my love." Snape said

"Ah HA!" Shouted Lupin, ripping the piece of tape off of Snape and pushing him away "This proves it! Tonks?"

A purple beam hit the back of Tonks on the back and she fell on the ground.

"Sleeping spell." Informed Lockhart, putting his wand away.

"Out of the way!" Hissed Snape

Gilderoy gave Snape a scared look as he tried to drag Tonks away, but found her too heavy to drag. Snape punched Gilderoy in the face and Gilderoy in the face.

"Keep away from her!" Remus yelled, pushing Snape off of the stage as Gilderoy fell painfully to the ground. Remus picked up a still sleeping Tonks. "Wake up, Tonks! Wake up and finish the play!

"No matter what Romeo said, Juliet does not awaken." Amy said "Juliet sleeps the sleep of death!"

"Time for the final scene." Arthur said as the curtain fell for a slight intermission.

The curtains open to Tonks lying on a bed of flowers.

"What is this, Romeo and Juliet or Sleeping Beauty?" Remus muttered, slightly angry. "And why does everything come down to that damn kiss?"

"You kiss her and you win." Arthur said bluntly

"Now give it all you got." Bill said, throwing Remus on stage.

Remus slowly and awkwardly walked up to Tonks and leaned forewords to her.

"I'll make it easy on you, O.K?" Tonks whispered

"How long have you been awake?" Remus said, before he was quickly suddenly pulled into a kiss. Everything else, was a blur for Remus as the events around him unfolded.

"We won, Remus! We won." He heard Tonks scream with joy.

"Congrats!" Lupin heard Arthur say.

"We won! We won!" Amy cheered off-stage.

The crowd cheered wildly and Snape stalked off. Remus didn't remember much of what happened, but that didn't really matter, he and Tonks had won.

Author's note- Interesting chapter... I'm still planning on writing at least one or two more chapters before finishing this story. So, stay tuned and I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Where do we go from here?

Author's note- This is the final chapter to a very confusing story. Very Lupin oriented, if that's an actual sentence…. Anyways, I hope it's a good ending… Oh, well, please R&R and I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer- I do not own the Harry Potter universe. It's owned by J.K Rowling.

Chapter five Where do we go from here?

"That was quite the performance, don't you think?" Tonks asked

Remus and Tonks walked side be side down the road on their way to St. Mungo's for the after play party (if there's such a thing...). Remus jumped up on a fence and managing to keep his balance, he kept walking.

"Are you mad about something, Lupin?" Tonks asked

"No! Nothing!" Remus asked

Remus stared at the night sky as he felt a slight chill in the air. He sighed, watching his breath in the air as it curled like smoke and disappeared. He placed his had on his mouth, which was still slightly burning from the tape he ripped off almost after his 'kiss' with Tonks.

"That was some trick, thought…." Remus thought, looking away from Tonks and staring absently at the crescent moon.

"Still…." Tonks said suddenly, making Lupin look over at her. "I would have liked to have done it without the tape."

At this instant, Remus slipped off of the fence, his heart pounding.

"_That_ was a joke." Tonks said, stopping to see if Lupin was okay. "You're such a dope."

Tonks gave an annoyed sigh as Remus made his way off of the fence.

"You should thank me you know." Tonks said, continuing down the road "You'd never had won if it weren't for me."

"I know, I know, but can you drop it?" Remus said, running beside Tonks. "Thanks."

A long silence came. Tonks smiled.

"I guess we'll have to decide on a place to go." She said

"I guess so…." Lupin said thoughtfully.

"Hey! What's keeping ya?" Bill called out of St. Mungo's hospital doors. "Quit making everyone wait!"

"We're on our way, Bill!" Called Tonks, smiling, as she said to Lupin "Hey, can't keep everyone waiting! Come on!" She laughed a bit as she jogged to St. Mungo's.

"Right behind you, Tonks!" Remus said, jogging behind her.

"Maybe… this trip won't be so bad." Remus thought. "I've always wanted to go somewhere for a vacation…."

Inside St. Mungo's Lupin and Tonks joined in what seemed to be a very disorganized party. Everything seemed to a mess and almost everyone seemed to be drinking or just plain drunk.

"Oh, brother…" Remus thought, he didn't really drink much himself. Didn't like the taste of beer much.

"What's wrong, Lupin?" Tonks asked

"Hm?" Lupin replied absently

"Something's wrong." Tonks insisted with a frown

"Oh, nothing, it's just the noise." He said

"Well, then," Tonks said with a smile. "Do you want to go somewhere a little quieter?"

Author's note- I think this the shortest chapter story ever…. I hope this is a good ending to the story. I was never really one to actually finish stories that I start. Like I said earlier, I hope you enjoyed the story and if you think there _may_ be a sequel, I would like to hear from you readers.


	6. Everytime we touch

Author's note- Apparently, chapter five was _not_ the ending to the story. Anyways, things are definitely going to be calmer now. Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed the story!

Disclaimer- I don't own the Harry potter universe. Or the song called 'Every time we touch' by Cascada.

Chapter six Every time we touch……

"Hey, check it out, it's Tonks!"

Tonks sat on the brick wall just outside of St. Mungo's hospital. The spring breeze blowing as she took a deep breath, breathing the spring air.

Remus walked down the path as he looked around at the sight of spring, only to stop at the brick wall where Tonks was.

"Hey Tonks. What's new with you?" Remus asked

"Nothing much." Tonks said "Just enjoying the breeze."

"It _is_ nice, isn't it?" Remus said

"Yep." Tonks said

A silence came on the two of them. They stared at each other a little bit awkwardly, and then looked away, Remus continuing down the path. Remus gave a sigh as he brushed away some bangs out of his eyes.

"Hey, Lupin! Wait up!"

Remus turned around to see Tonks smiling as she was running up behind him. He always loved to see her smile like that. Like there was not a care in the world.

"I just wanted to say…." Tonks started

"Yes?" Remus said

"Thanks for a fun night last night." She said

All Remus could do was smile as Tonks walked off to St. Mungo's. But not before she said something about working around in St. Mungo's, but he didn't really hear any of it because he was staring off at Tonks with a funny feeling. Something he never really felt before. But when he knew it, she was gone, leaving him staring off in space in the middle of the path. He shrugged and continued down the path, not really knowing where he was going.

Tonks looked around the room where the after-play party took place. People who went offered to clean up the mess were scrambling around, cleaning where ever there was a mess and trying to find a place for most of the loose things. She gave a satisfied smile as she left for the room she was currently staying at and threw herself on the bed.

She rolled over to her side and turned on the radio. A song that caught her attention came on as she sat up to look out of the window.

_I still hear your voice when you sleep next to me._

_I still feel you're touch in my dreams._

_Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why_

_Without you it's hard to survive._

Tonks thought about Remus as she heard this song and the time that they had spent together. She stared long fully out the window, wondering where Remus was now and what he was doing.

'_Cause everytime we touch I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side….._

Tonks stretched as she lay back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. She really enjoyed days like this. Where there was so much time in the world, where you could just lay back and stare at just about anything for any amount of time.

'_Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static._

_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._

_Can't you feel my heart beat so…._

_I can't let you go._

_Want you in my life._

At this time, a knock came at the door. Tonks sat up and said "Come on in."

It was as if she was expecting it to be Remus at the door as he came into her room with a slightly embarrassed smile to say that he missed her and blushing as he said wanted to see her again.

Her face broke into a grin as she jumped off of her bed and threw her arms around Remus's neck and gave him a kiss.

_Your arms are my castle , your heart is my sky._

_They wipe away tears that I cry._

_The good and the bad times we've been through them all._

_You make me rise when I fall._

Remus hugged Tonks closer as they embraced for another kiss.

'_Cause everytime we touch I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I can fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side._

'_Cause everytime we touch, I feel this static._

_And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky._

_Can't you feel my heart beat so…._

_I can't let you go._

_Want you in my life._

Tonks and Remus backed stared longingly into each other's eyes, then they looked away blushing, absolutely embarrassed about what happened earlier. Remus looked over at Tonks and apologized for what he did, but Tonks just shook her head and said that he had nothing to apologize for.

'_Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling._

_And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly._

_Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last._

_Need you by my side…._

Remus gave Tonks another loving look as he left the room and the song ended. Tonks stood there with a slight blank stare on her face.

"Hey, Tonks! What's up?"

Bill's face popped through the door. Tonks stared at his fairly annoyed.

"Sorry to barge in like this, Tonks, but I think I know where to go for our trip!" Bill said

"'Our trip?'" Tonks asked, getting more annoyed

"Yeah, 'our trip', we helped out ya know." Bill said "Without us, you would have never would have won this trip."

Tonks gave this a thought with a frown. She'd hate to admit it, but, Bill was right.

"We're…going to Japan!" Bill announced

"WHAT?" Tonks roared "You…you've decided _for_ us?"

"Sorry, but you and Remus were taking too long to make a decision." Bill said, quickly leaving the room with a very angry Tonks.

Author's note- Not much _really_ interesting happens here. Please review, I want to know how I'm doing with the story.


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